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Dallas Cowboys lure Jason Witten out of the Monday Night Football booth, a nation rejoices

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NFL: Tennessee Titans at Dallas Cowboys Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

The Dallas Cowboys have done us all a solid by successfully getting Jason Witten to end his retirement and return to the team for a 16th NFL season. It was a surprise announcement made official on Thursday, as Dallas has reportedly offered up $3.5 million for one more year of Witten, who will apparently take on a reduced role in the offense as a 37-year-old TE.

Witten retired at the end of the 2017 season to make millions of dollars as analyst for ESPN’s revamped Monday Night Football booth. Sean McDonough and Jon Gruden both departed, and in came Witten and Booger McFarland, alongside play-by-play man Joe Tessitore. This trio has had mixed-to-negative results, and actually called this year’s Super Bowl for ESPN’s audiences in Australia and New Zealand... I don’t know what those countries did to deserve such a punishment.

So for at least one year, we’ll see Witten on the gridiron once more, and we will miss such great moments like, “Pulls a rabbit out of his head!”

...Or his struggle to say “Ebukam.”

...Or “Trevathian.”

...Or thinking Patrick Mahomes and Eric Ebron played together in Kansas City all season, or indeed ever.

....Or these other things:

Hey, not everyone can be Tony Romo.

Maybe, just maybe, former Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck could replace Witten in the booth, especially since he was one of the options considered to replace Jon Gruden before they went with Witten.