Leitmotifs for sacks by Seahawks

I do not even know what Apple News is but it needs to stop stripping out my gifs.

Hello everyone. Let’s look at gifs of sacks but not the ones recently purged from a certain server in Cyprus. I’m not nearly witty enough to know if that joke works. And now I’ve doomed myself to giggle-inducing double entendre at every instance of the word “sack.”

Seattle had three legal and one illegal sack on Sunday. In the lawless vastness that is Field Gulls we will consider all four.

Adams sets the record for most sacks by a defensive back

Not since Brett Favre slid under his good buddy Michael Strahan has a record-breaking sack been so sullied by anticlimax.

Perhaps Favre likes his climaxes ruined.

Jamal Adams is now king shit of DB sacks. What does the all-22 reveal? Mostly good coverage. Bobby Wagner gets tied up. The Benson Mayowa-Jamal Adams double of #89 Chris Herndon is uh.

Having watched it countless times now I actually kind of love it. This doesn’t likely work against a better quarterback. Adams drops coverage to pursue Sam Darnold awfully early and there’s a good stretch of time in which Mayowa is plunged into the furnace of creation by Herndon. But Diggs lurks. And offering Darnold a choice of sacking himself, taking on Adams one-on-one as a rusher, or attempting a running pass up the left sideline with Diggs closing is a choice between humiliation, a brutal beating or another nick to the winnowing thread holding Sam Darnold above the pit of busts.

In his head the chilling theme of man grows louder and louder.

A Grinch’s sack

On the very next play Seattle executed a blitz of near unlimited stupidity and sloppiness. Witness the ways in which this could have and did go wrong!

Jamal Adams and Bobby Wagner nearly collide blitzing the same pass rush lane!

Wagner jacks up Rasheem Green!

Braxton Berrios scorches Ugo Amadi!

Jarran Reed deserves the fake sack. He pressures Darnold into turning tail. He lassoes Darnold’s legs just before Brooks arrives. Brooks’s path to the quarterback is so wending and full of peril I could assign an Odyssean adventure to each of its many ordeals but I won’t because I can’t.

Darnold’s calm is shattered by the shrill brass of marauding ghouls.

Shaquem Griffin makes the most of his eight snaps

Griffin works a dope inside move to pressure the living heck out of Darnold but it’s humble right guard Pat Elflein who does him in.

In a ball on the turf Darnold hears the gentle plucking of a harp.

Reed gets his sack back

L.J. Collier stays active despite absorbing a wicked chip block. Alton Robinson comes screaming around the edge which if nothing else forces Darnold up in the pocket. Poona Ford takes the lead in his forbidden dance with Elflein. And Reed separates and attacks the inside shoulder of Josh Andrews, draws the double team of Connor McGovern, but powers through to sack Darnold after Ford spills him.

Darnold now senseless, Reed hears Oh Dae-su’s theme from Oldboy.