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Snappy answers to a stupid scheme

A shitpost about Ken Norton, Jr.

Wild Card Round - Seattle Seahawks v Philadelphia Eagles Photo by Steven Ryan/Getty Images

Now that the Seattle Seahawks have sold the farm acquiring and retaining Jamal Adams and the team’s title hopes have bought the farm in the process, I must ask. Why stop him from doing the only thing he has proven capable of doing well?

Average number of times Adams has blitzed per game:

2019: 6.4

2020: 8.2

2021: 3.3

Probably better that everyone just blame each other, right? A team of Kyries win all teh games. Truly the NFL is the world’s best reality show. But I prefer unpredictability in my reality tv. (This is a rhetorical device; I do not watch that shit.) Not the same failures every year.

Not rushing Adams is using Jimmy Graham as an in-line blocker or refusing to put Percy Harvin on injured reserve—forcing an uber talented player to play against his greatest talent. Think if Seattle had just let Percy chill and enjoy his paycheck stoned as a motherf—ker at home like he so desperately wanted. At the very least: one fewer notorious hematoma; At the very greatest: one more something I dare not even put in words.

[hacky non-transition]

While Adams is wasted in the nether just off screen, Radio Rasheem Green is flailing like a fool for all to see.

Green in coverage

Targets: 4

Completions: 4

Yards: 44

I just don’t think the guy’s made to be a DB, coach.


Seahawks defensive linemen in coverage

Targets: 7

Completions: 7

Yards: 70

Lucky 7s!

Here’s a fun fact for you masochists out there. Seattle’s only player with as many as two quarterback hurries? Rasheem. Green also leads Seattle in passes defended with two, again, the terrible twos.

Here they are.

Turns out GamePass is so clumsy and time-consuming that I can only do one. The other’s also a product of pass rush. Tada!

A second ago there was some pretty caustic shit filling up this final paragraph. Instead I’m gonna show my age and attempt to be less vituperative and more evenhanded. Plus the day I am writing this is Ken’s birthday. No one deserves such shittiness on a too-often somber day. But I gotta say ...

And I’mma little tired of our side bein run by Ziggy.