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UHPOG, Week 17: Phil Haynes philled up our hearts

And maybe Rashaad Penny’s bank account too.

NFL: Seattle Seahawks-Minicamp Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

Rashaad Penny was good against the Lions, maybe great, but he should buy Phil Haynes a Rolex this offseason when the contract dough rolls in.

The Seattle Seahawks’ left guard sprung holes for his backs, pancaked unsuspecting Detroitites Detroitians Detroiters, generally kept Russell Wilson from harm, and while in a 51-point outburst there exists much competition for the honor of UPHOG (UnHeralded Player Of the Game), Haynes is your Week 17 laureate.

Three honorable mentions to get out of the way real quick before Haynes gets his due:

D.J. Reed

Man had two picks. Reed is required to be in the Seahawks’ long term plans now. Pay him. Then pay him some more, just to be safe. Defensive passing game coordinator Andre Curtis and DB assistant coach DeShawn Shead have spent the year playing Cornerback Jenga, with all the injuries, trades, and visits to the COVID-19 list. All that time, Reed has been a rock in the CB room rapids, so it was gratifying to see him actually carry the rock — twice — Sunday.

Cody Barton

One snap, and ever so abruptly, Bobby Wagner’s out for the game/rest of the year. Barton stepped in and... nothing fell apart. Just seven first-half points for the visitors before a pseudo-comeback in the second half fizzled before it ever had a chance. Jordyn Brooks looks like Bobby’s heir, but Barton definitely needed game experience in case he’s called on extensively in 2022. He looked like he belonged, which is saying something, considering he had all of 51 defensive snaps this season coming in.

Jason Myers

A) Made all of his kicks, so many kicks, and B) also saved a touchdown, what?

Haynes, though, people. He dominated. From the start.

This is the first play from scrimmage. Penny loses a yard, but if you can force yourself to watch number 60, his effort is gratifying.

Who doesn’t love a good pancake? Especially when this syrup is poured on top two plays later:

Granted, Haynes may be more skilled than whatever defensive line rotational piece the Lions threw at him, but you don’t have to face Aaron Donald every week. Sometimes you get inferior talent across the line, like with the Jaguars, Texans or Lions, and good linemen make mediocre linemen look silly. That’s how you know which ones are good and which ones are mediocre! Also, our good friend hawkschronicle on twitter has inside information.

I encourage you to click on the whole thread of videos I posted on twitter. But in case you don’t have an account, Haynes run blocked like the fate of the world depended on it.

Easily my favorite play of Haynes’ afternoon was the double-block touchdown-maker below. It’s very important to point out that Penny has Shaunalexandrian vision on this score, and bounced off three tacklers. He made the play on the second level. But if Haynes doesn’t make both (both!) blocks to set Penny up for success, we’re not putting points on this board on this play.

Details you’ll want for the ensuing conversation: as a restricted free agent, it would cost the Seahawks $2.4 million to guarantee Phil Haynes’ services for next season. Kinda think they should, right, and not try to get too cute or too cheap?