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unPower Rankings, Week 9: The flaws in our stars

Out of 32 teams this season, 31 look like a good bet to lose this week.

Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

The NFL continues to dumbfound, and the only team this season that really hasn't suffered a confusing lull at one point or another is the Denver Broncos. Division leaders Dallas, Green Bay, Carolina, Baltimore, and Indianapolis all suffered massively disappointing loss this week.

The Cardinals have the best record in the NFC despite having to start Drew Stanton three times.

The Bucs are mired in trade rumors despite having that one guy in the office who is doing that high-pitched, squeaky, under-the-breath voice when he says, "We're only 2.5 games back of first place."

There really aren't that many teams out of the playoffs races because almost no one has done anything to pull away so far. There are a lot of flaws on a lot of teams this season, and it's not just the bad teams that can say that. With today's unpower rankings is a "sad, but true" statement for every team.

The NFL has had as much instability on the field this year as they have had off of it ... sad, but true.

1. Oakland Raiders (0-7)

Last week: 1

Derek Carr's overall numbers look decent but he threw four touchdowns against the Chargers. In his other six games, he's overall terrible.

2. New York Jets (1-7)

Last week: 4

The Jets defense has allowed 22 touchdown passes and only one interceptions. Opposing QBs have a passer rating over 113, which is basically like facing Aaron Rodgers every week. But at least their passing offense is ... Really f***ing terrible.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-6)

Last week: 2

The Bucs have two legitimate perennial All-Pros on defense and are 32nd in yards allowed.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-7)

Last week: 3

Blake Bortles has thrown multiple picks in five of six games. He has no games without an interception. The Jags have scored 30 points only once in 24 games under Gus Bradley.

5. Atlanta Falcons (2-6)

Last week: 9

The Falcons have turned it over in 22 straight games.

6. Tennessee Titans (2-6)

Last week: 8

The Titans have won as many games with Charlie Whitehurst this year as they have with Jake Locker.

7. St. Louis Rams (2-5)

Last week: 7

Breakout star Brian Quick has 53 yards over his last three games.

8. Minnesota Vikings (3-5)

Last week: 5

Ben Roethlisberger had more touchdown passes this week (6) than the Vikings have all year (5.)

9. Chicago Bears (3-5)

Last week: 10

The Bears started 3-0 under Marc Trestman in 2013, meaning they're 8-13 since.

10. Washington Redskins (3-5)

Last week: 6

Colt McCoy makes people second-guess the return of the franchise star.

11. New York Giants (3-4)

Last week: 11

Victor Cruz ends up with a much worse season than Larry Donnell, even before the injury.

12New Orleans Saints (3-4)

Last week: 12

Jimmy Graham is averaging 47 yards a game over his last five games and Marques Colston has four drops with only one touchdown on the season.

13. Pittsburgh Steelers (5-3)

Last week: 13

Shaun Suisham has made two 50-yard field goals in five years with the Steelers.

14. Cleveland Browns (4-3)

Last Week: 14

Bark Mingo was the sixth overall pick last year and has zero sacks this year.

15. Buffalo Bills (5-3)

Last week: 15

The Bills spent a first round pick on a QB they replaced with Kyle Orton less than two years later.

16. Miami Dolphins (4-3)

Last week: 16

The Dolphins lead the NFL in net yards per pass attempt allowed at 5.3, but Ryan Tannehill only has a NY/A of 5.75, which is good for 30th in the league.

17. San Francisco 49ers (4-3)

Last week: 19

After posting an average point differential of 136.3 in their first three seasons under Jim Harbaugh, the 49ers have a point differential of -7 this year.

18. Kansas City Chiefs (4-3)

Last week: 17

The Chiefs have allowed the fewest passing yards in the NFL, but Alex Smith has thrown for fewer yards than the defense has given up: 1,496 for Smith versus 1,508 allowed.

19. San Diego Chargers (5-3)

Last week: 25

The Chargers are 4-0 against teams that suck (losing records) and 1-3 against teams with a winning record.

20. Philadelphia Eagles (5-2)

Last week: 22

One of the league's most careful teams in 2013 is leading the league in turnovers in 2014. And the Eagles have only played seven games.

21. Carolina Panthers (3-4-1)

Last week: 21

This is the best team in the NFC South and are 2-4-1 under Cam Newton, compared to 1-0 with Derek Anderson. Newton rushed for 14 touchdowns in his first 15 games and has run for 15 touchdowns in his last 40. He's not a good enough passer to justify being only an above-average runner.

22. Houston Texans (4-4)

Last week: 18

The only QB who has a higher INT% on as many attempts as Ryan Fitzpatrick is Geno Smith. THE Geno Smith!

(Based on remaining schedule, return of Jadeveon Clowney, this ranking means I now have Texans as second AFC wild card over Chargers)

23. Cincinnati Bengals (4-2-1)

Last week: 23

In the first season since signing Andy Dalton to a new deal, how many people would now trade him straight up for Austin Davis?

24. Detroit Lions (6-2)

Last week: 20

If they made the Super Bowl it would be the best thing to happen to any fan born since the late 40s.

25. Indianapolis Colts (5-3)

Last week: 26

The Colts have turned it over 23 times in their last 10 games, including playoffs.

Last week: 31

Green Bay's three losses have come by an average of 17.6 points.

27. Baltimore Ravens (5-3)

Last week: 30

Torrey Smith is catching less than 47% of his targets and has five drops. Five passes intended for him have been intercepted, tied with Dez Bryant for most in the NFL.

28. Seattle Seahawks (4-3)

Last week: 24

Seattle's defense is allowing a passer rating of 99.8, seventh-worst in the NFL. Last season they allowed a passer rating of 63.4.

29. Dallas Cowboys (6-2)

Last week: 29

The "team to beat" just got beat after turning the ball over twice. They have at least one turnover in seven of eight games.

30. New England Patriots (6-2)

Last week: 28

The Pats are 0-2 when they turn the ball over, 6-0 when they don't.

31. Arizona Cardinals (6-1)

Last week: 27

Michael Floyd has caught only 47.5% of his targets, four dropped passes, and is one of the worst in the league at yards after catch.

32. Denver Broncos (6-1)

Last week: 32

Sad if you're not a Broncos fan: Denver has only played one team that doesn't currently have a winning record but they're still 6-1 and the best team in the NFL.