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unPower Rankings, Week 11: Making the grade

From bottom to top, the unPower Rankings don't stop.

"10" Not in my book.
"10" Not in my book.
Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

I will not feel the need to defend the order of my unPower Rankings, the position of certain teams, or the movement or lack thereof after one win or loss. I won't bend to the pressure of my oppressors! I believe what I believe and this is a closer representation to how I feel the season will end up, rather than just what it might be today. Why should anyone on the internet feel the need to defend their own beliefs?

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Which brings us to a certain website's grading system for players. We'll call it "PFF" which could stand for Pasta Fazool Fugazi, for all you know.

Let's use some of those grades to dissect team's in this weeks unPower Rankings. I don't need to explain them any further, we all know what the points mean.

1. Oakland Raiders (0-9)

Last week: 1

The Raiders one saving grace this year is also their saving grade: 22.9. Which, as we all know, is what Khalil Mack's doing right now. Where does that rank him in the league? As if I need to tell you.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-9)

Last week: 4

Blake Bortles carries a -26.7, worst in the NFL and nearly 30 points behind the recently-benched Ryan Fitzpatrick. Come on Gus, anyone can see that Chad Henne could be a total -6 in this offense!

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-8)

Last week: 3

They had to get rid of Mark Barron, an obvious -4.1. But where does that leave them with Dashon Goldson, a total -12.6?

4. New York Jets (2-8)

Last week: 2

How did the Jets upset the Steelers? This just in: Center Nick Mangold is a 16.0, highest in the NFL at his position.

5. Tennessee Titans (2-7)

Last week: 6

Delanie Walker blossoms into a 10.1 in Tennessee, while Vernon Davis crumbles into a -11.7 in San Francisco. I could have maybe seen them differ by 13.6 points, but 21.8?!

6. Atlanta Falcons (3-6)

Last week: 5

At your two CB positions you've got a 6.3 and a -5.4, so tell me, where you gonna throw?

7. St. Louis Rams (3-6)

Last week: 7

Robert Quinn and William Hayes are among a tie for second place in missed tackles for 4-3 defensive ends, with six each. But they make up for it by being a 3.0 and 6.2, respectively. (Who would've guessed that Hayes would be 3.2 more than Quinn by Week 10? All of us.)

8. Chicago Bears (3-6)

Last week: 8

Remember how some of us wanted Jared Allen? Yeah, I think we can get a -4.2 for a lot cheaper than that!

9. Minnesota Vikings (4-5)

Last week: 9

The Vikings have their own -8.5 to deal with. (I don't need to say who that is, it's obvious.)

10. Washington Redskins (3-6)

Last week: 10

DeSean Jackson has 21.8 yards per catch, highest in the NFL for anyone with more than 15 catches. But his 0.4 PFF grades doesn't put him in the top 30 and I think we all know why.

11. Carolina Panthers (3-6-1)

Last week: 12

I don't know what's worse: Their -54.2 pass blocking or their -40.4 pass defense. Oh wait, yes I do. It's the -54.2.

12. San Diego Chargers (5-4)

Last week: 14

Stop pass blocking like a -40 and run blocking like a -39.1.

13. New York Giants (3-6)

Last week: 11

Eli Manning shouldn't wear number 10, he should wear number 2.8. (You know why.)

14. Houston Texans (4-5)

Last week: 13

JJ Watt isn't twice as good as the second-best 3-4 defensive end.

It's 89.4% better than second place though, and that's indisputable.

15. Buffalo Bills (5-4)

Last week: 16

Marcell Dareus leads all defensive tackles in sacks and stops and it's not even close. You don't have to carry the one to know he's a 17.4.

16. Baltimore Ravens (6-4)

Last week: 18

If you've been waiting for Jimmy Smith's breakout season -- 6.6. Need I say more?

17. Miami Dolphins (5-4)

Last week: 20

Why is Cameron Wake the best defensive player that nobody talks about? Is it the sacks? Nope. It's the 27.1.

18. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-4)

Last week: 23

Nobody in the NFL has more targets than Antonio Brown, and why would they? What would you do with a 14.3?

19. San Francisco 49ers (5-4)

Last week: 17

Aldon Smith couldn't come at a better time, with fans across the country screaming at their TV sets, "Come on, Ahmad Brooks, stop being a total negative seven!!!"

20. Philadelphia Eagles (7-2)

Last week: 19

Signing Darren Sproles was great insight for an Eagles team that looked at LeSean McCoy before the year and thought, "Oh boy, we got a -9.3 on our hands."

21. New Orleans Saints (4-5)

Last week: 21

SMH, Jimmy Graham. You're a 14.2 playing like a 9.9.

22. Cleveland Browns (6-3)

Last Week: 15

Who needs Josh Gordon when you've got a 7.2, a 6.0, and a 3.1?

23. Kansas City Chiefs (6-3)

Last week: 22

Could be doing even better if it wasn't so obvious that Knile Davis is a -13.2.

24. Dallas Cowboys (7-3)

Last week: 25

Tyron Smith is the best left tackle in the NFL? Uhhh... not according to this 0.1 over here.

25. Cincinnati Bengals (5-3-1)

Last week: 27

Mohamed Sanu leads the NFL with nine drops, which makes him a total 1, but I think we all knew that.

26. Arizona Cardinals (8-1)

Last week: 29

Don't hate me for stating the obvious, but the difference between Carson Palmer and Drew Stanton is five points.

27. Indianapolis Colts (6-3)

Last week: 26

Why is TY Hilton an elite receiver? Three words: Eleven. Point. Two.

Last week: 24

Sick of him being a 5.8, the Packers moved Clay Matthews to inside linebacker, where could once again excel as a 9.3.

29. Seattle Seahawks (6-3)

Last week: 28

Marshawn Lynch had 37 more yards after contact than any back in the league in Week 10 and the dominant stretch of games he's on has him as the highest graded RB in the NFL. Can anyone guess his score? Of course, you all knew it was 13.4 without even looking.

30. Denver Broncos (7-2)

Last week: 30

Chris Harris, meet 15.2. Highest graded corner in the NFL, I think we all saw this coming.

31. New England Patriots (7-2)

Last week: 31

He won't get in the MVP conversation, but if you ignore Rob Gronkowski's 16.6, you might as well do the same for Tom Brady's 18.7.

32. Detroit Lions (7-2)

Last week: 32

Golden Tate is second in the NFL in yards after catch at 456, but does anyone really need to ask questions about why he's a 1.7? Didn't think so.